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NETBOOK PC PC : DISCUSSION

The Future of Netbooks is boring?
Posted in Netbook PC | June 24, 2009 8am

Blink.Blink.Blink.The glaring white underscore flashes in front of my weary eyes next to letters arranged in a peculiar fashion.c colon backslash blink.The cathode ray is the only thing illuminating the room, since all the lights are off.  It's 3 in the morning, after all.  Don't tell me you've never been there.  Don't tell me you don't remember the days.After a nightmare afternoon of tearing my hair out has turned into a nightmare evening of juggling extended memory with base memory with swap files, twelve hours later, I still haven't managed to persuade Linda - my old P90 - to crack on with Quake 2.  For crying out loud.Fast forward a decade or so and I have a computer in my pocket powerful enough to play Quake 2 and more.  More's the point, I can play Quake 3 in a browser window, the entire game recoded in a ridiculously lightweight language that makes a mockery of my PC-gaming youth.Who can see the future of computing?  Well, arguably it's not that hard.  It's fair to assume that the power of a given computing platform or form factor will roughly double every 18 months or so.  It's fair to assume that the corollary of this is that the size of device required to perform a task roughly halves every 18 months. Well, up to the point where one is required to type on a simple device which has just a screen and no buttons.  I can't imagine how on earth that would work.  Sounds ludicrous.Regardless, the title of this blog post was supposed to be 'The Future of Netbooks'.  Only, it seems like the future of netbooks is relatively safe to predict.  I mean, given the ubiquity of the Intel Atom platform now integrated into 95% of the machines of the market, it's fair to say that the future of netbooks is, well, the next iteration of that platform.  Faster processor.  More memory.  Bigger storage.  Better graphics.  It's also fair to assume that netbooks aren't really going to get bigger, since then they'd be laptops, or smaller, since then they'd be phones.  3G integration might become standard I suppose, but we're not about to see anything more drastic than that, I'd muster.No, the future of netbooks isn't really about the hardware platform.  We know what that is.  The future of netbooks is intimately tied up with the bizarre amount of computing tasks that become possible as time marches on.For example.  Today, netbooks are pretty useless for gaming.  You might just about muster a game of Counter-Strike (pre-Source, mind you), but the idea of truly portable PC gaming is probably just a platform iteration away.  Combine a 9" screen with a 2.5GHz Atom, next-gen integrated graphics and a 3G card and you've probably got the most compact, high-performance World of Warcraft machine ever invented.  The idea that a machine of that size could play the most popular game available on the PC seems, to my decade-old self still fiddling with extended memory, laughable.But there we are.  Windows 7, which will come in a very nice built-for-netbook variety, is probably using more memory just to draw a window than poor Linda had to draw an entire 3D world.  Not to mentioning managing an internet connection based on a chip the size of thumbnail that outperforms, by a factor of 20, my decade-old internet connection that required a big black box, a physical phone line and a tolerance of incredibly annoying squawks.So the thing that is next for netbooks is not really hardware.  That's really lined up and planned already.  No, the next thing for netbooks is the ability to do anything you can do on a desktop today on a 9" screen with a permanent internet connection tomorrow.  And just how cool is that?

NETBOOK PC PC : DISCUSSION

Must-have Netbook accessories
Posted in Netbook PC | June 9, 2009 6am

The title of this post was supposed to be "Must-have Netbook accessories".  After all, every computer needs accessories.  The extra stuff that you really need to make sure you can always do everything you want to. The cases, the cables, the dongles, the wangles, the fimbles, the doohickies, the what-nots.  Every netbook needs them, right?Wrong. The beauty of a netbook, or even a super-light notebook, is the utter lack of stuff.  The streamlining.  The lightweight, ultraportable look.  I mean, if you buy a netbook in order to carry it around and work with the minimum of hassle, what do you want all that extra stuff for? The entire goal should be to get the amount that you carry down to almost zero.But you always need a little something, even if the goal is to get your "go-bag" down to zero.  So here are my essentials.The bag itself, in fact, is nothing more than a document wallet from Mulberry, rather like this one.  The beauty of this is not only that it can be carried under your arm, rather than needing to be slung over your shoulder and rumpling your suit (I know, I know). It also has the minimum amount of space, thus mandating minimalism.Item two: headphones.  I say headphones, but in my opinion cans are unacceptable attire anywhere other than in a) the studio or b) the listening room.  So, instead, I have a very nice pair of Shure 420s that neatly tuck into the wallet's inside pocket.  After all, when you're on your netbook a few tunes are essential.Item three: news weekly.  Although netbooks are designed to be ultraportable, you can't use them everywhere all the time - for instance, pulling out a laptop on the London Underground is still considered a little odd, despite the fact everyone is plugged into their Blackberries the whole time.  So, you need something to occupy yourself whilst in transit and a news weekly is the easiest way to do it.  Just pick one off the shelf from Borders: Newsweek, Business Week, Time, Spectator, New Stateman, whatever.  Buy it, read it when you've nothing else to occupy yourself, and learn a little something.Item four: dongle.  I hate carrying my dongle.  It seems the most annoying thing on the planet, and if I could wave a magic wand and wish one product out of the labs of Cupertino, it would be a MacBook Air with built-in 3G.  But until them, I'm dongled up.  Do yourself a favour and make sure you get a netbook with built-in 3G.  You'll thank me for it.And that's it.  Nothing else.  Don't over accessorise, the whole point of a netbook is portability and once you start adding 'stuff' then you might as well just buy a huge backpack and stick a 17" monster in there.  Keep it slim, light and easy going.  Kiera Knightley, not Roseanne Barr.Alternatively, you could just ignore me and go the other way. This has to be the ultimate geek bag that I've seen. 
What's in your netbook bag?  Leave your  answer in the comments.

NETBOOK PC PC : DISCUSSION

Life in the Cloud
Posted in Netbook PC | May 18, 2009 7am

"I wandered lonely as a cloud." 
That line doesn't quite work these days, does it?  Back when Wordsworth was writing, clouds drifted over head, oblivious to the world of mortals below, in what was anthropomorphically a solitary existence. 
Today, clouds are anything but lonely.  Planes dash through them with alarming regularity and an amazing tendency to stay in the sky against all the odds.  Rockets get blasted through them, propelled by tonnes of, well, rocket fuel.  And clouds, today, are the convenient (read: lazy) literary device used to explain the distribution of data for the entire compass of human existence.
"Live life in the cloud, don't be tied to your data!" This is is the rallying cry of the SOAS crowd.
(That's SOftware As Service, not School of Oriental and African Studies, or Squadron of Organised Anti Semites).
The cloud, exemplified by Apple's Mobile Me service (which even has a bloody cloud as a logo) is the convenient metaphor for 'out there', and for 'everywhere', which is how your data will be if you allow it to 'float free' between your devices: laptop, mobile, desktop, pda, netbook secret government spy satellite.
I myself am a total cloud convert.  This is less because I have some structured (or de-structured, ha ha) argument in favour of decentralised data and more because I break so many laptops, and I need an easy way to restore them without having to perform the chore of pulling out the hard drive, putting it onto a USB dongle and copying it all back again.  Thanks to the wonders of 'the cloud' I can just boot up my new machine (taking care to move all cups of coffee far, far away from the keyboard) and get all my email, contacts, bookmarks, passwords and whatnot in barely more than an instant.
(Note: I have killed 4 laptops in the last 4 years with inadvertant application of coffee to keyboard.  My insurance company really loves me.)
The happy effect of this is that I am far more comfortable moving between anybody's computer and my own.  Previously, I used to get quite angsty about being away from my desktop and all my lovely 'stuff'.  These days, most of my stuff is accessible in the same fashion wherever I am. This has been the reason behind my decision to 'downsize' my computing power to a MacBook Air.
(Regular readers will remember her tale...)
I have a Mac Pro at work to cut video on.  While working at it, I can get my email, music (hello Spotify) and bookmarks all as if I was on my regular Air.  When heading out, I very often don't even take the Air with me, thanks to the fact I can get all my gear on my iPhone, just as if I was sat at the computer.  It's pretty bloody handy.
And I'm not the only one buying into this trend (although I am one of the only mugs buying into it, quite so literally, with more and more gear "Designed by Jono in California").
In fact, it's the reason that so many people are now turning to netbooks (and there's the Asus link! Huzzah!)  To be honest, netbooks aren't really going to cut it as most people's main machines. The small screens and relatively modest processing power are below most people's needs when it comes to day to day desktop multitasking.  But for people on the go who just need something to get at all their cloud-based stuff, they're perfect.  And the success of netbooks in the last 6 months is in no small part tied to the formation of the clouds overhead.
After all, when you're out and about what do you really need? Email, web, Word (and the obligatory Spotify) probably about covers it.  In which case, the teeny form factor is perfect and, assuming you have your cloud services all set up correctly, you'll never have to be away from your data and never have to bother about keeping it in sync, physically, between machines.  What could be better?
So, like many, I buy into the whole cloud computing thing because it's just so darned convenient, even local access is a teensy bit faster. (Hey, I'm a Mac user.  I make performance sacrifices for the sake of convenience every day).  Here are my top three tips for living life in the clouds.
1) Keep local copies.  Yes, I know it's slightly perverse to be suggesting all this wonderful wishy washy data distribution nonsense and then present my first tip as 'screw all that'.  But seriously.  Cloud computing is amazing when it works, but when it doesn't you are quite seriously buggered.  So just in case the bad turns into the apocalyptic, make regular copies of your stuff onto a hard drive and store it in the bottom of your undies draw.
2) Religiously keep up to date with your services and what they are offering.  You'll be surprised at what apps are now getting cloud enabled, and how you can start to put that to your benefit.  For example, Yojimbo, my favourite data management app, has the ability to plug into MobileMe and synchronise back and forth to the cloud, allowing me to keep multiple copies of the app up to date.  Fantastic.  Unfortunately my main todolist app, Things, doesn't manage that.  Consequently, I am keeping a hawk eye on the feature list for the next upgrade and planning my Krispy Kreme charm offensive to get that feature in.
Also: if you don't keep all your services up to date you'll end up with version mismatching which can really arse you over.
3) And lastly: get 3G.  Having all this stuff in the cloud is useless if the only time you can get to it is when you're plugged into Wifi.  If you are looking at buying a netbook, for gawd's sakes make sure you get one that has a 3G sim card slot so that you can have the internet with you wherever you go. 
After all, isn't that the point?  Clouds don't suddenly disappear every time you leave your local Starbucks.  In fact, if anything, Sod's Law suggests the exact opposite.

NOTEBOOK PC PC : DISCUSSION

MY DREAM WOMAN PC
Posted in Notebook PC | April 27, 2009 12pm

Hello!  Good evening.  Or good morning, depending on your time zone. This is the internet, after all. 
INDEED.
How does one introduce oneself to a crowd of faces that one cannot see? And a crowd that one probably would not want to even if one could? 
I suppose I could tell you all to go and read my Bio as some form of introduction.  It's quite complimentary about me.  Perhaps over-egging it.  To quote David Cameron (and few do), "Thank you, if I'd heard that introduction I'd be delighted to see me too."  Hysterical.  Self-depracating, verging on arrogant.  A tone I'm all to happy to steal.  Sorry, adopt.
So how should I begin?  How to adapt this self-depracating yet disarmingly self-important tone for the world of
THE INTERNET?
Perhaps I should start with the fact that, once upon a time, I was somebody?
YES.
Halcyon days.  Drink-addled nights.  Once upon a time, I was somebody in this world.  This world of... hardware.
I had a site.  A website.  Quite a popular one, in fact.  It was called Bit-tech.  It was the dogs danglies.  I ran it with a group of my mates (many of whom should not, strictly, been allowed into the wild). We did, and I have to admit, we did do a fucking good job at it.  We tested.  We tweaked. 
BY GOD WE TINKERED. 
More to the point, we went on a lot of trips to California to look at the latest technology. A lot of trips.  Trips on which staggering quantities of alcohol were consumed; expense budgets were blown; stories were broken over beers at 4am; CEOs of major companies were outraged at British tarts questioning their policy on abuses of human rights in Communist States.  And, hell's bells, we did it well.
YES.
I hobnobbed with the brightest and the best.  Me and Anand?
We had a beer or two.  Me and Dave?
Yeah, we shared some benchmarking thoughts over crisps in the press room at IDF.  Joel to the J? OK, we never met but I did have a total man-crush on him from afar.
WHAT?
Let me make one thing pretty clear. The title of this post is "My Dream PC". That's what Asus and Intel asked me to write about. I'm getting there, so bear with me.  Just hold fire.  What I am doing (in case you have the
ATTENTION SPAN OF A DIGG READER
and have somehow ended up here via a yellow link titled "Hysterical crazy British clown makes bum-fluff retard of himself w/ [PICS!]"), is setting up the background to My Dream PC. 
THE CONTEXT.
Because, you see, back in those days, back in those days where people would ask me my opinion about the latest technology
AND THEY WOULD DAMN WELL LISTEN.
Well, I actually owned My Dream PC.  I owned it.  Mine. All mine.
I had a PC on my desk, and she was the only PC I'd ever wanted.  At the time, she seemed like the only PC I ever could want.  My dream PC.  She was beautiful.
It was the summer of '69, and she was only 17.  Time passes, memories fade.  It's the tragedy of the human condition.
No.  Wait.  It was the summer of 2005, actually, and she was only about 2 months old I think. I can't remember the details, but I do remember that she played Company of Heroes at 1920x1200 on full details.  Stunning.
I'm pretty sure she had two graphics cards in some form of SLI tucked away in there,  like
THROBBING HOT DUAL ZONES OF UNBRIDLED PLEASURE.
She had the fastest dual-core CPU, in the days when quad-core was just a lusty little glint in Pat Gelsinger's slightly beady eyes.  She had a great body, clothed in sleek aluminium, even a few little neon lights, because bling was still cool at the time.  She was, I'm pretty sure, the fastest goer in the office.  She may have been the fastest goer in the whole south-east of England.  She was certainly faster than anything those farts at Hexus could come up with.
Well, I should cut a long story short.  (Not that short, admittedly).  I started to get the itch.  You know, the one that says...
MOVE ON. 
Do something new.  Get someone new.  You need a younger model, heck, you deserve a younger model.  Ditch the neon, the bling, go for a blonde.  A curvaceous little thing with a tight little OS build. There's no shame in it.  Just a lot of great nights.
SO I DID.
To my shame, I left Bethany (for it was she) on my desk in my office and I walked out on her, one night, into the world. Left her there, wheezing at the betrayal. I held up my head, breathed in the fresh air in the world, the big wide world, where the clock frequency of your DDR means
LITERALLY NOTHING. 
Yes, folks, I got a job in mainstream journalism.
I started a men's interest magazine online.  You can go and see it if you want.  It's called ChannelFlip. 
Anyway, the point of this paragraph is not to plug ChannelFlip (although you should really go and have a look.  It's awesome).  No, the point is that when you step out of the great big e-penis competition of the technology world, one of the things that happens is that your tastes change.  Bethany - pulsating, powerful, roaring Bethany - starts to look a little fat, a little ugly.  Like maybe she has a few extra pounds piling on around the rear exhaust.
So when all you want is something thinner, sexier, hotter, sleeker, then there's only one thing you can do. 
YOU BUY A MAC.
You take the ridicule, sure.  Maybe you still have some friends in the tech world.  They can't understand how you'd trade 2GB of graphics RAM and vertex shaders up the wazoo for integrated graphics and a 13" screen.  But then you point out that, in the mainstream world, nobody uses their computers for anything other than email, Word, MP3s, FaceBook and PornHub.  And suddenly it all begins to make sense.
And so that's where I end up, where I find myself today.  Despite my change in tastes, I wouldn't say I own my dream computer, any maybe that's karma for you.
But I have something pretty close, and she's my MacBook Air.  And she does my email, Word, MP3, FaceBook and PornHub.
(She doesn't do MySpace.  Nobody with any self-respect does MySpace). 
Her name is Charlotte. Charlotte.  The very name evokes blonde curls, English-upper-lip-barely-cont ained-lust and sleek, curvacious lines. She's so beautiful, I practically need Ray-Bans just to sit at the keyboard. 
THANKFULLY I HAVE RAY-BANS.
She might not have much, you know, up top.  I wouldn't ever say that she was the smartest chick on the block.  Ask her to plough through a massive Excel spreadsheet and she'll look back at you with a vacant stare, twirling a beach ball between her sexy little fingers.  And forget about gaming.  Charlotte doesn't like to game. 
But by God.  Walk down the street with her on your arm, sit on a train with her next to you, and you'll enjoy the envious glances.  The looks.  The older gents, looking lustily at her svelte, tight, hot bod.  The designer outfit.  Built in California.  Designed by an Englishman, of course.  It makes it all worthwhile. 
Does that make me vain?  Maybe.  I prefer to think of it as self-depracating, verging on arrogant.
Bethany, I'm sure, is sitting in a coke-addled mess in a nightclub toilet, desperate to be young again, yearning for the days when she was where it was at, when she was the cool girl.  I'm sorry Bethany.  We grew apart.  I needed to move on.  Maybe...
MAYBE YOU COULD GET SSD IMPLANTS?
I hear they knocks years off.  Charlotte has natural SSDs, they came pre-installed - but I guess not everyone can be as fortunate. 
SO HERE IS MY QUESTION TO YOU, READER.
Yes, both of you that have made it to the bottom of this soliloquy. 
What's the greatest PC you ever walked out on?  What was your biggest regret? Have you ever sobbed your way through an NTFS re-format?
If you could go back in time and have one more night of unbridled passion with one machine from your past, which would it be?  The chunky 486 that had DOS appeal?  Your little Dell from the early 90s that always treated you right?  I want to know. 
TELL ME.